Growing Up, part 7

A German Youth

Grown up in Germany in the 1960s and 1970s

   I sailed along primary school quite smoothly, did not much participate but followed attentively. 
   My parents were not only misers at home but also cut the school expenses wherever they could. Writing this I have to emphasize that the education in Germany is basically for free, from kindergarten to universities the tuition costs nothing! 

   As a low income family we could apply for allowance for books but my mother refused, she felt 'ashamed' to use the governments support which is a right! So she opted to rent books for the semester. This means that we have to take particular care of them because we had to return them at the end. The first work after receiving the books was to wrap them in a plastic foil at home. We had to keep the books very tidy and clean - no notes, no coloring, no torn pages, nothing! For notes we had notebooks! 

   When we needed school supplies my mother opted for the cheapest alternative all the time; if it might be a pencil cases, pens, notebooks etc. all was of the lowest quality and therefore cheapest price available. I have never seen a shop for school supplies from the inside, they were too expensive. Before the semester started a local superstore had back to school discounts and that's when my mother got very active. We had a long list for each and every child and then we went shopping like crazy!    

   I remember once my mother bought a school bag for me on sale. It was on sale because it smelled like leather - but really nasty. Because the whole apartments smelled after it we put the bag in the basement and treated it with different kind of chemicals and even stuffed a cloth with perfume in it for several days. But it still smelled during the first days of the school semester, even the teacher asked about it.

   As the German economy progressed in a 'miraculous' speed the local work force was by far not enough to supply the demand. So between 1955 and 1968 the West German government signed bilateral recruitment agreements with a number of countries like Italy, Spain, Greece, Turkey, Morocco, Portugal, Tunisia and Yugoslavia. These agreements allowed the recruitment of guest workers (Gastarbeiter) to work in the industrial sector in jobs that required few qualifications.

   I remember one day in class there was a rumor that we should get new classmates. And really, when a teacher was in front of the blackboard the principal opened the door and after him entered three Italian kids, two girls and one boy, the classroom. I was particularly interested in the girl not only because she was a foreigner but she was the first girl I've notice who had two different hair colors. From the top to the middle her hair was black but the rest was obviously red. I thought that this is very special until my older sister explained me that the black color is the original hair color and the red is the dyed hair grown out! I've never heard that there is dye for hair color before.

   The principal left with all three students and the teacher continued. During the break the teacher left and some students, out of joke, curiosity or even self-interest took the chalk and wrote 'Taker raus', a racist term spelled wrong for 'Italians out' on the blackboard. After returning the teacher was furious about these remarks and understandable punished the students. This incident happened at the end of the 1960s when 'make love not war' and the 'flower power generation' was en vogue. But these racist remarks confirmed also that not only my mother's mind was still haunted by the evils of the past...

   The day to graduate from primary school (in Germany 4 years) drew to an end. My mother actually had a very simple plan: to wait until each child receives his or her 18th birthday (the legal age in Germany) and, when the youngest reaches this age, to file for an divorce. This was her goal and it became true.

Graduation picture of primary school

   In my case the class teacher was not very found of the idea that I should continue 'just to finish school'. So, after the 1st year in general school she told my mother that I am too far advanced and that I should, at least, continue with the secondary school. I believe a lot of my teacher's high opinion had to do with that she somehow understood my bad learning environment at home and has experienced a very different student than the one my mother called 'the curse of the society'.
   Finally my mother gave in and I had to take another test for secondary school. I passed it easily and my future looked a little brighter than before.

(to be continued)  

Growing Up, part 5

A German Youth

Grown up in Germany in the 1960s and 1970s

   Primary school was a big change but an even bigger challenge for me. It was a time away from home, the first steps into an independent life. This means that many ‘daily’ challenges like finding friends, arranging your stuff and material, homework etc. depend solely on the student. But unfortunately I was very bad prepared for these things.

   Not only my mother’s education of children was, except for suppressing, controlling and scolding, nonexistent but she also did not participate in the school life at all. I was like that she did her part like getting us prepared for school, supplying breakfast was her obligation and after we left for school it was her leisure time. Returning from school we had to do the homework which was not her responsibility but ours. She never asked any questions or had only interest in the grades at the end of each semester. My father was even colder towards his children-we hardly talked about anything not to mention school or education in general.

   I was not a slow learner; I was with in the first 5-6 students in a class of 24-27 students. My weakness was that I did not have any confidence at all and this triggered many other difficulties like being shy, passive and defensive. While others actively participated in class I was sitting attentive but did not take much part. When the teacher called my name I could answer the question but could not articulate them in front of others.

   Writing tests was a quite different subject. I’ve got a paper or a theme and just wrote for 40 minutes what came to my mind and that was it. Me and the subject and a paper – this was my way of learning.

   Each semester the teacher invited the parents to a parent-teacher conference two times. On these evenings the teacher informs the parents about their class in general and about the student individually. My mother never showed up. Later as an adult I’ve asked her why she did not attend any parent-teacher conference during my many years studying in various schools she seriously replied “because I felt shame about my children!” I never drank, never smoked, never took drugs, never ran away, never beat someone, did never steal etc.…Until today, in my 50s, I do not know and understand what I did to let my mother feel this way.

   For me it was not easy to connect to other people much less to find friend. I had one neighbor who was about the same age who sometimes showed some interest in my life.  He was the first one who invited me to his birthday party, his mother was very friendly to me. Sometimes we played the good cop and bad guy on bikes where we were chasing each others on Bonanza bikes, a rage at that time. We even liked the same girl living on the 2^nd floor... When his parents had a chance to move out from the social housing into the city this was a great personal loss for me.

My 3 speed 'Bonanza' bike ready for school

   While he was still living in our community his mother sent him once a week to learn the Japanese martial art Judo in the local Police Sports Club (Polizeisportverein). A club in Germany is a non-profit association for the benefit of the society. So my mother registered me there too. The fee was very low, as I remember she paid annually (!) German Mark 26 (=Euro 13.00 = USD 16.00). Another chapter and very different world in my life opened when I stepped into the gym.

   The first time I attended the trial training I did not have a judo uniform, just wore some sport outfit. Once I like it, my mother invested in the proper uniform which was not a small investment at that time. From this moment on I felt as a true Judoka, the proper name of a male student of this form of martial arts.

a Judoka

(to be continued)